Will my grief get any easier
littletinkerbell03-29-2003, 04:57 PMIt's been 3 weeks since my dad passed away but the strange thing is I seemed to cope all through getting told he had cancer then he only had a month to live then with my mum we held him right at the very end. I seemed to go on auto pilot and coped but in the past few days I seem to be missing him even more and yearning just to see him one more time I can't stop crying I thought I could cope but right now I just don't know if I could keep going . Does it ever get any easier.......mags.......ladywing1403-29-2003, 10:31 PMIt seems to have gotten easier for me, my mom passed almost a year ago (April 11). I know it is different for everyone, but it seemed to me that after I got through all of the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. all of my emotions have kind of settled down (as I type this I am crying). I never thought it would get easier, it seemed like every time I turned around I would see someone that she worked with or see some craft that she had made or even just find myself cooking something that she used to make all of the time. She used to be the first thing on my mind every morning and now it kind of scares me when one day I won't think about her until late in the day or somedays not at all. I get mad at myself for not grieving for her every day, but I know she wouldn't want me to do that. I hope this helps. ((((Hugs))))
Sharon http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.giflittletinkerbell03-30-2003, 08:21 AMHi Sharon
Thank you for replying I can see what you mean about all the first anniversaries, birthdays and the big one for us Christmas I think once we are through the first year it should ease. I think about him all the time I even think I see people walking around that look like him its so exhausting mentally. You must have loved your mum so much also and it must have been hard for you aswell and you got there in the end. You have given me that little bit of encouragement to get through it also. Big hugs and thanx for you Sharon its nice to know that people out there care...mags...LeisaH03-31-2003, 09:55 AMMags..... I too promise that the days do get better. Mom died August 14/02. There are still days that I pick up the phone to talk to mom and then it dawns on me. I cry more at movies now. Christmas decorating was hard for me.... But the rememberance of Christmas past and the joy that was there was worth it. Do not be afraid to talk about Him especially on special days. Everyone will be, but people will be afraid to mention his name. I just came back from visiting dad... and in a week I took my girls to see the grave twice. I talked about mom's last day with my grandmother, who was not there. I went and gave a donation chq to the hospice. And now, I am gearing up for Easter. A big day for my mom. I will forge a new tradition with my family.... I have no idea what tradition, at least not yet, but it will be in memory of my mom.
LeisaDan&cheryl03-31-2003, 10:56 AMI can't stop crying at all. All day every day. That's why I haven't visited the board for a while. I may have to talk to a professional because I don't think I can do this by myself. I get so mad when people call me and ask what's wrong if I answer the phone crying. I miss them both so much...littletinkerbell03-31-2003, 03:18 PMhi leisa and cheryl
It's a comfort to know that people are here and willing to listen to you and give good advice. I'm so sorry for your loss leisa and you to cheryl I've been telling my mum about your situation cheryl and she says she knows what you are going through because she feels the pain so much more than me as it is a different pain to lose your partner she says to say she was thinking about you cheryl.. Well as if I don't have enough on my mind so far I find out today my 18 year old daughter is pregnant to some good for nothing lad so I'm going to be a gran at 35 don't exactly know how to feel just now it hasn't sank in yet but life is never easy and it's just another obstacle to get over. God bless all of you caring people and cheryl, I pray God gives you the courage to get through all your sad times and leisa thanx for caring too....mags....Piperdreams04-02-2003, 10:02 AMHi:
I lost my beautiful mother to lung cancer three months ago and ever since I have been asking myself the very same question. I am on a survival mode, trying to cope with the loss of mother and taking care of my family and my father. My father is depressed, lost tremendous amount of weight, and I cannot help but worry about his health too. To make matters worse;1-I have no siblings; 2-My father lives in Europe. I convinced him to stay with us in the States for a while but he cannot speak the language and he is homesick too.
It seems like I am in and out of depression myself, I have daily crying episodes; somedays I am sort of fine somedays I am a mess. I have flashbacks of my mother's last days, laying on the hospital bed, not being able to move or talk (she had brain cancer and menengitis towards the end too) and teardrops in her eyes when she looked at me.
I believe things will get better in time and I know it will take a long time for me. I also know that I will always have a big void in my heart. So, hang in there little tinkerbell and let time do its job. Take care.
Piperlittletinkerbell04-02-2003, 03:51 PMHi piperdreams
thank you for your reply and I'm so sorry for your loss also . I also am an only child and you feel so lost but you also feel under pressure to make sure your other parent is ok and coping. I have also found out this week my 18 year old daughter is pregnant to some one who doesnt care I like you say will have to take each day as it comes but I am so glad we have this messageboard to get help us to cope as there are lots of nice people here like youself I am also fortunate enough to have a nice careing sister in law that has lost her mum also she is a godsend and has helped me cope so much just like everyone here . You will be in my thoughts piperdreams....mags......thank you......
Sharon http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.giflittletinkerbell03-30-2003, 08:21 AMHi Sharon
Thank you for replying I can see what you mean about all the first anniversaries, birthdays and the big one for us Christmas I think once we are through the first year it should ease. I think about him all the time I even think I see people walking around that look like him its so exhausting mentally. You must have loved your mum so much also and it must have been hard for you aswell and you got there in the end. You have given me that little bit of encouragement to get through it also. Big hugs and thanx for you Sharon its nice to know that people out there care...mags...LeisaH03-31-2003, 09:55 AMMags..... I too promise that the days do get better. Mom died August 14/02. There are still days that I pick up the phone to talk to mom and then it dawns on me. I cry more at movies now. Christmas decorating was hard for me.... But the rememberance of Christmas past and the joy that was there was worth it. Do not be afraid to talk about Him especially on special days. Everyone will be, but people will be afraid to mention his name. I just came back from visiting dad... and in a week I took my girls to see the grave twice. I talked about mom's last day with my grandmother, who was not there. I went and gave a donation chq to the hospice. And now, I am gearing up for Easter. A big day for my mom. I will forge a new tradition with my family.... I have no idea what tradition, at least not yet, but it will be in memory of my mom.
LeisaDan&cheryl03-31-2003, 10:56 AMI can't stop crying at all. All day every day. That's why I haven't visited the board for a while. I may have to talk to a professional because I don't think I can do this by myself. I get so mad when people call me and ask what's wrong if I answer the phone crying. I miss them both so much...littletinkerbell03-31-2003, 03:18 PMhi leisa and cheryl
It's a comfort to know that people are here and willing to listen to you and give good advice. I'm so sorry for your loss leisa and you to cheryl I've been telling my mum about your situation cheryl and she says she knows what you are going through because she feels the pain so much more than me as it is a different pain to lose your partner she says to say she was thinking about you cheryl.. Well as if I don't have enough on my mind so far I find out today my 18 year old daughter is pregnant to some good for nothing lad so I'm going to be a gran at 35 don't exactly know how to feel just now it hasn't sank in yet but life is never easy and it's just another obstacle to get over. God bless all of you caring people and cheryl, I pray God gives you the courage to get through all your sad times and leisa thanx for caring too....mags....Piperdreams04-02-2003, 10:02 AMHi:
I lost my beautiful mother to lung cancer three months ago and ever since I have been asking myself the very same question. I am on a survival mode, trying to cope with the loss of mother and taking care of my family and my father. My father is depressed, lost tremendous amount of weight, and I cannot help but worry about his health too. To make matters worse;1-I have no siblings; 2-My father lives in Europe. I convinced him to stay with us in the States for a while but he cannot speak the language and he is homesick too.
It seems like I am in and out of depression myself, I have daily crying episodes; somedays I am sort of fine somedays I am a mess. I have flashbacks of my mother's last days, laying on the hospital bed, not being able to move or talk (she had brain cancer and menengitis towards the end too) and teardrops in her eyes when she looked at me.
I believe things will get better in time and I know it will take a long time for me. I also know that I will always have a big void in my heart. So, hang in there little tinkerbell and let time do its job. Take care.
Piperlittletinkerbell04-02-2003, 03:51 PMHi piperdreams
thank you for your reply and I'm so sorry for your loss also . I also am an only child and you feel so lost but you also feel under pressure to make sure your other parent is ok and coping. I have also found out this week my 18 year old daughter is pregnant to some one who doesnt care I like you say will have to take each day as it comes but I am so glad we have this messageboard to get help us to cope as there are lots of nice people here like youself I am also fortunate enough to have a nice careing sister in law that has lost her mum also she is a godsend and has helped me cope so much just like everyone here . You will be in my thoughts piperdreams....mags......thank you......